An Unintended Break

Somehow, three days went by and I didn't blog at all.
The weird thing is I didn't even miss it.
I've been congested and tired and distracted by doing my IV antibiotics twice a day.
Which, by the way, is going just smashingly.
I've already got it down to a science.
I tell ya, though - it's gonna be a long six weeks.
Because as grateful as I am that I can take these antibiotics this way instead of sitting in the hospital for six weeks, it's a major pain in the butt.
Not to mention these doctors keep going up on my dosage and I'm concerned they're going to keep doing it till Red Man Syndrome hits me.
That's totally not fun to deal with, in case you were wondering.
I had it once last October when docs at Duke gave me this same antibiotic to fight my staph meningitis, and basically my whole body turned bright red, I spiked a fever, and it took laying on my bed naked covered in ice packs for an hour to cool me down.
Hence the name Red Man Syndrome.
I also found out that I'm a carrier for MRSA (Methicillin-resistant Staphylococcus aureus). Also known as the most dangerous staph infection out there.
Just what I need, right?!
Anyway, it finally stopped raining tonight! It's literally been raining for days.
The news said there's two to two and a half feet of water outside!
I was supposed to go see Dr. P yesterday, but there was no way in the world we were going out in this mess.
But anyway, I'm just letting you guys know that I'm okay.
Tired, but okay.
Frustrated, but okay.
I'm just hangin' in there.
And we all know how much practice I've got at doing that, don't we? ;)

Home again.

Well I finally got home this afternoon.
Even though this hospital stay was only two and a half days, it felt like much longer.
And I'm going to be feeling it for the next six weeks every time I look at my right arm.
Not only will I have to deal with a cast that will probably be put on my foot on Thursday, I have to have IV antibiotics twice a day, and they have to run two horus at a time because otherwise I react to the antibiotic because it's so powerful (reacting is common).
A nurse came over tonight and showed me everything I need to do.
And really, it's pretty simple, and I'm grateful that there is a way to do this so I don't have to sit in a hospital for six weeks.

As for school, I sent out a basic email to all my professors explaining what happened and that I didn't know when I'd be back (right now, we're thinking not till after my Fall Break which is Thursday and Friday of next week). Thankfully, they all wrote back and were very nice. This week I'm going to try and write back and forth with them all to figure out assignments and such. I'm not stressed. I'm too drugged to be stressed.

Good night.

So confused.

Well, good news is my mom is taking tomorrow off (hallelujah!) because we've got a lot of things to figure out about how I'm going to deal with school and such.

The infection in my foot is a staph infection. It apparently started at the top of my foot, worked its way down to where the steel plate and screws were, and then when it had nowhere else to go, the infection exploded out of the top of my foot like a volcano, which is why blood and puss started seeping out of my incision scar Friday morning.

Dr. P will be by to see me in the morning. I'm also getting the PICC line put in. Mom said he wants to see me once a week for the next few weeks. So I still have no idea how I'm going to go back to school when I'll need to be back down here every week. However, I might be getting out of here tomorrow. We'll see.

My throat is incredibly sore still from the breathing tube. My shoulders and back are tight. I can't get comfortable in this surprisingly soft bed. I'm just tired. I'll post more tomorrow once we talk to the doctor.

New hospital, new problem.

So guess what guys! I have awesome news.

I'm currently sitting in a hospital in Wilmington recovering from an emergency 19th surgery earlier tonight (or last night, by the time you see this).

Nope. I'm not kidding.

That infection in my foot was really, really bad. Mom's original plan when she picked me up at Campbell Friday night was to take me home for the weekend so I could go see Dr. P (my foot doc/surgeon) on Monday. She took one look at my foot and said "That's not waiting till Monday." So she got on the phone and ended up talking to Dr. P's partner who told her to drive straight here to this hospital in Wilmington. So she did.

We got here about 9:00 and spent hours waiting before finally getting put in an actual room in the ER. Mom had to leave about midnight because a) she didn't have her heart meds and b) we had Blake with us (she picked him up after work) and he was sick and had no more bottles and my mom's friend's daughter was sitting in the ER lobby with him all night because Mom couldn't bring him back with her to be with me.

I didn't get in a room till 4:30 this morning, and didn't get a chance to sleep till about 6:00 because people wouldn't stop bugging me with questions. And to make things even better, one of these incompetent doctors decided to order that I could only have Ibuprofen all night long. Dr. P was livid when he found that out when he got to the hospital to do my surgery.

Because Mom was so "tired" and concerned with Chelsea, Blake, and my sick grandma who probably shouldn't be at the house with them right now but she is because Chelsea's still not allowed to be alone with Blake, she left me here by myself all day long. And she didn't even get back here in time to be with me before they took me into surgery. That was comforting.

Anyway, Dr. P went into my right foot and washed (and washed and washed and washed) everything out and found a fairly large puss pocket down in my foot. He moved it, and it was literally sitting right on top of the metal plate and screws in my foot. So he had to take all the hardware out. The good news is that he pushed on the bones and even though it's only been two months, everything seems to be fused together nicely.

Here's what's really got me so pissed: school. First, my mom and her school. She doesn't even want to ask to at least have Monday off so she can be here with me while they're putting a PICC line and to make all the calls to Campbell to figure out what we're going to do about that. This is the first time she's picking her job over me, and frankly, it really sucks and really breaks my heart. But I might be able to beg her just to have that one day off. We'll see.

Secondly, obviously, my school. I'm dangerously close to missing enough classes to fail all of my classes right now, and even though I'm sure that Mom can make some calls to keep that from happening, my stupid Western Civ teacher does not want to change his mind about his policy to take points off my grade even in excused absences. Plus, I have to have six weeks of antibiotics, and while they can do that through a PICC line and home health nurses while I'm at school, I have no idea how we're going to work out those logistics since Buies Creek is in the middle of freaking nowhere and it's not like I have a car or a license to drive somewhere. Plus going back to school with a tube stuck in my arm is not my idea of fun.

I'm tired of being the freak.

I'm tired of things going wrong in my life.

ALL I WANT TO DO IS GO TO COLLEGE. That is not too much to ask!

I know everyone has problems, but I don't know a single person who has as many problems as I do.

I'm just pissed. I need a break and it feels like I'm being punished for something because somehow God thinks it's in my best interest to have medical problem after medical problem after medical problem.

WHY CAN'T I BE OKAY FOR ONCE? WHY DO THINGS HAVE TO KEEP GOING WRONG?!?!

Scream

This is me writing out the very loud scream I want to actually scream out right now. But since it's 10:00 at night and I live in a dorm with other people very close by, I can't actually scream.

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Whew. All righty then.

Seriously though, despite the ER doc telling me that my foot is fine save for bruised tissue and that I'll be fine soon, whatever the heck is going on with my foot REALLY FREAKING SUCKS.

I've resorted to getting a friend to go get the antibiotic the ER doc gave me a prescription for filled because I've tried everything I or my mom can think of save for going back to the ER.

This sucks. so bad. There really are no words to adequately describe how bad this sucks. And the pain will just not go away. And now the muscles in my ankle have started twitching. :(

Add to that the fact that I missed classes today because I woke up with a debilitating migraine and today is just all around sucky.

Ugh.

I Promise

Guys, I promise.

I don't actually like whining about all the issues I have.

But to be honest, the reason I whine here so often is because there's nowhere else I can let out all my frustrations.

I only have a couple "friends" here at Campbell, and they're so busy with their own issues that I haven't even really gotten to talk to them lately.

Plus, there's the fact that I constantly have some medical problem, and I just can't get a free period from it.

Like right now? There's a bright red triangle shape on my right foot. At first I thought it was just marked from the bruised tissue. But now it burns. Like I got sunburned, that's the kind of burning sensation it is. And I've tried lotion, ice, plain cold water, and I even got desperate enough to put hand sanitizer on my foot because it has aloe in it.

Nothing.

Helps.

My doctor wouldn't call me back. My mom was no help. And I'm stuck up here without a car to be able to go somewhere to get help myself.

I'm just so tired of having to deal with crap like this while trying to be a full-time college student. I know, I know, everyone's got their own problems, and I know there are kids out there way worse off than I am, but that doesn't change the fact that this sucks.

And I'm so tired of having to work so hard, of fighting just to make it through every day.

I need a break from this.

I feel like I'm breaking.

A Night Off

Tonight, I am giving myself a night off.

I finished all my homework for tomorrow before I went to Honors at 5 (two and a half hours working on my outline for my English essay!), so it's not like I have anything else I have to do tonight.

I've been working hard for days without really stopping, and I just need to be able to breathe for one night.

So yeah.

I'm watching this 2 hours of Dancing with the Stars, and going. to. bed.

Hope your night is as lovely as mine!

Burning and Throbbing and Itching and Hurting

(sung to the tune of "Wishin' and Hopin' and Thinkin' and Prayin')

My foot hurts.

So darn bad.

All because of this bruised tissue!

You'd think it wouldn't be that big of a deal, but let's put it this way: I can pull my power chair right next to a toilet and still want to scream just standing up to move from one seat to another.

Good news about today: I got a 98 on my first Intro to Christianity test!

Bad news about today: I got a C+ on my first English writing assignment.

A C.

A C!

I don't get it. I went over that paragraph so many times. I thought it was really good! Writing is usually one of the things I'm best at! And yet my teacher backhandedly wrote "you suck" on my paper.

Sigh. I guess the only upside to it is that it's not that much percent-wise of my grade.

DWTS was awesome. Here's my quick recap of the contestants:

Michael Bolton (singer): kinda bad, but very graceful
Margaret Cho (comedian): the planned mishaps looked weird, but the judges were too hard on her!
Rick Fox (former NBA player): really really sexy! especially for a 6'7 guy doing the Viennese Waltz with a 5'4 partner (in 4-inch heels)
Jennifer Grey (Baby from Dirty Dancing): awesome! but I refuse to vote for her because I hate her partner that much
David Hasselhoff (who doesn't know who he is?): bad. just bad. really really bad.
Florence Henderson (Carol Brady!): hilarious! and a heck of a lot of talent for a 76-year-old! AND she flashed the camera in her rehearsal video!!!
Kyle Massey (from the Disney Channel): AMAZING! SEXY! MY FAVORITE OF THE NIGHT!
Brandy (singer): really really good. and seems like she won't put up with Maks' crap, either.
Bristol Palin (she needs no introduction): a lot better than I thought she'd be. and she shook it in her cha-cha a lot more than I expected her to, as well!
Audrina Patridge (from The Hills): really gorgeous. hard routine. but it looked like her face was frozen, she had the same expression the entire time.
Mike "The Situation" Sorrentino (from Jersey Shore...yeah, I know): terrible. but he only had 5 days to practice and everyone else had like 3+ weeks, so I can't be too hard on him.
Kurt Warner (football player): not good, but not bad, either. he's got potential.

Hope The Hoff or The Situation goes home tomorrow. But we shall see. I gotta get ready for bed. It's been a very long day.

Busy, busy me.

I.

Am.

So.

Tired.

For once, I didn't let myself get distracted and have spent all day doing homework.

Okay, so I did take an hour nap this afternoon, but I just couldn't hold my eyes open anymore!

But seriously, other than that hour, from 11:15 till 9:30, I did homework and chores. I'm quite proud of myself.

I read five chapters of my Science textbook (which it's my own fault I had to read that much - I procrastinated because I had so much work in my other classes).

I read two stories for my English class and did the required journaling.

I did prewriting for my English paper and came up with my thesis.

And I did all of my laundry.

Believe it or not, all of that took that long.

And yesterday, I ended up accidentally sleeping the day away, but when I finally woke up, I read and highlighted two chapters of my Western Civ book for the quiz on Tuesday.

And Friday before the whole ER drama, I read for my Religon class and did my French homework.

So I don't know about you, but I would consider this quite a productive weekend. When I started, I had no idea how I would get it all done, but somehow I did. :)

I also found out I got an 88 on my Western Civ test, which is about what I was expecting. Yes, I'm frustrated I got so close to an A and didn't get it, but I'm not upset. The test is only 10% of my grade, as are the other two exams I have on October 5 and 28, but the final in December is worth 40%, so I figure if I ace that test, I'll be just dandy. :)

Now, I gotta get ready for bed. It's been a tiring day, and 7:30 is gonna come way too quickly. One exciting thing about tomorrow - the new season of Dancing with the Stars!!! :D

I'm back.

Well, that was a surprisingly quick ER trip.

Thank heavens I'm okay.

I've just apparently injured all the soft tissue in my right foot right around where Dr. P operated, so I'm to take pain meds and stay off it till it gets better.

I got a shot of Dilaudid and Phenergan at the hospital, but I was crying for two hours before they could give it to me because seeing as how it's late, I couldn't get up with anyone to come get me and they had to know I had a ride before they'd give me narcotics. And I understood that, but it didn't really help with how much pain I was in. And my kinda rude nurse kept saying "calm down, calm down" and finally I yelled at her "You have no idea how bad this hurts!" (I didn't mean to yell, and yes, I apologized later.)

Thankfully, a Campus Safety guy came and got me. I had no idea that was included in their job description, but apparently it is!

So...fun night, huh? I've got to eat something and then I am crashing.

It's official.

I can't catch a break.

Last night, I was laying in bed trying to go to sleep. I pulled my foot towards me to see how the mobility was with my newly-knicked heel cord. As soon as I do, I heard a loud pop. Like someone popped their shoulder or all ten of their fingers at once. It freaked me out for a minute, but then I remembered that my left foot did the same thing after getting the cast off it. So I figured things were fine, and eventually I fell asleep.

Cut to this morning. My alarm went off, so I turned it off, put my walking boot on, and got up to go to the bathroom. The second step I take, something pops again! I rode my chair to classes all day, so I didn't even think about it, except for noticing the new stabbing pain.

This afternoon, when I got back from English. I stood up to go walk down to my friend's room (something I've done before, in fact I just did it yesterday), and I couldn't bear putting weight on it. So I call my doctor's office and my mom, and they both say I should stay off it, and wait till Monday to see if it's better.

Well, already, I can tell it's not.

It's worse.

Much worse.

Standing up to move from my chair to the toilet makes me dizzy.

And as of half an hour ago, I had a fever of 99.7. For one, it's rare for me to get any fever at all. I have a hard time staying around 98.6, usually being much lower. I just took it again, it's 100.4. The doc's "warning sign" number is 100.9.

Pray. I'm so tired of missing class.

I have a test I need to be there for on Tuesday.

I just can't catch a break.

I'm going to go call my mom. She'll know what to do.

Ew ew ew ew EW!

Here's my super gross story of the day:

So I'm sitting in my room hanging out doing homework after I got back from my Science lab, when my RA knocks on my door. "Hey, can I check your water?" Uh, sure. She turns on my sink, and the water is BROWN.

Like, really brown.

Like someone poured Coke in our water pipes brown.

Talk about gross.

And of course, with my luck, I find this out just when I really have to go to the bathroom, so I first go over to Shouse (dining hall) and their bathroom is messed up, too. So I go over to The Groc, and the only bathroom in there isn't public, but the guy at the cash register told me that there was a bathroom in the Sauls lobby right down the sidewalk. Whew!

So I ended up having to go over there whenever I had to go to the bathroom because using mine seriously made me gag.

It took like four hours for the water to be clear so that I could take a shower. And I still felt like I was contracting some disease the entire time I was showering.

Sigh. The joys of college, huh?

P.S. I think I did really well on my Western Civ test. Yay! :)

Big Test Tomorrow

I have my big Western Civ test in the morning.

All I can say is that I would really, really appreciate it if you said a quick prayer that I get an A. I don't just want an A, I need it.

Adding stress to the matters is that I'm having bad neck pain (along with other slightly random muscle pains) tonight which I got right before that two-and-a-half-week-long headache. If I wake up tomorrow with a headache like that one, getting up and going to class to take that test is going to be incredibly difficult.

So needless to say, I'm going to bed now. And hoping and praying that when I wake up tomorrow, I won't be in this kind of pain.

It seems I just have the most fantastic timing, don't you think?

So much better today.

So despite getting a really, really terrible night's sleep, and forgetting to do my reading for Honors today, I feel so much better today than I did yesterday.

My guess is the lack of anxiety med all day seriously contributed to my feeling so overwhelmed. Gee, ya think?

I had a conversation with Dr. Martin, my Western Civ professor, after class today, and apparently, I've really impressed him. You know how I know? Because he said it like 5 times in a 5 minute conversation. Talk about an ego boost! :) He said that his tests, 50 multiple choice questions, are way easier than his quizzes, having to define/explain 5 terms out of anywhere between 25 and 50 pages packed full of information.

And the 2nd floor RA of my dorm, Heather, had him for both Western Civ I AND Western Civ II, and she said as long as I wrote down everything from his slides in class (which I did) and study those notes, I'll be golden. I even lucked out with a girl I can study with tomorrow! The girl who sits next to me in class is really nice, and she lives on the 3rd floor of my dorm! How awesome is that? So we're having a study session tomorrow afternoon.

Then, I talked to my Environmental Science teacher today, because the labs this week are going out to this pond to do water testing of some sort (makes sense for the class). At first I thought I wouldn't be able to go out there since I'm still in my walking boot full-time and my chair most of the time. However, he said that since people have to carpool over there anyway, whoever drives me can just drive their car right up to the picnic table area, and I can just sit there and help with the testing of the water. That'll work fine because I can walk some, and I can just leave my chair in the lab room on campus till we get back.

It's so nice not to be so upset anymore. I feel normal today. :P Must remember: Mallory, do not forget morning medicine!

As of now, I only have one project that's scaring terrifying me. That would be the 5-6 page research paper I have to do for Honors that's 50% of my entire grade. Not only am I freaked out by placing half of my grade on one paper (talk about pressure!), seeing as how the whole semester is on creationism vs. evolution and the first few chapters of Genesis, and that's basically what the paper has to be on, and I'm really not fascinated by the topic, it's going to be that much more of a pain to do this.

Let's just say, my paper is probably not going to be more than 5 pages. ;)

It's not due till October 26, but Mom said that if I can get a draft out by Fall Break, she'll proofread it for writing and content. One of the many plus sides of having an English teacher for a mom. I hope I can find the time to do it, because that would seriously help. One nice thing is that I have a friend in the class, who is also in my English class, so maybe we can do some work on this together.

Okay, this was a whole lot of rambling that probably no one cares about. I'll stop now so that on the slim chance that you've actually made it all the way down to this point, you don't get annoyed by the length of this. Good night!

Manic on Monday

Today has been nonstop.
Class.
Homework.
Lunch.
Class.
Class.
Reading.
Dinner.
More HOMEWORK.
Add in the freakout I had this afternoon, and you can just imagine how super my day has been.

What was the freakout about, you ask? Oh, typical me feeling so overwhelmed by everything that I called Mom in tears. Don't even know where that came from. Although, I did notice a few minutes ago that I forgot to take my medicine this morning, part of which was my anxiety med, so that just might have had something to do with it.

In all seriousness, though, I am feeling terribly overwhelmed. It's a never-ending cycle of homework, and essays, and quizzes, and tests, and I'm stuck in feeling like I'm just never going to get caught up. Plus, I'm working my butt off and I'm getting grades that I'm really not used to.

Thankfully, my mom is a teacher, so she gave me some studying tips and advice to talk to the teacher whose class I'm most concerned about (Western Civ). What would I do without that woman, I tell ya. To make me feel slightly less of a freak, she told me about a girl from our church, Brittnay, who is super smart and in grad school at YALE(!!!) right now, and her mom told my mom today that Brittnay has talked to them feeling the same way I feel.

Just must remember that a) this IS normal b) I WILL calm down and c) I can do this.

Note to self: Repeat phrase "I can do this" until you believe it.

Write your Senators, everybody!

Seriously.

How is it Sunday night already?

I call for a write-in campaign to make 3-day weekends mandatory.

I need 3-day weekends to get all the homework my teachers assign done.

It's like each professor thinks that they're the only one who assigns homework, and quizzes, and tests. Because somehow all the tests manage to happen right on top of each other taking away all opportunity for you to breathe.

Case in point: French test on 10th, Western Civ test on the 16th, Religion test on the 17th, and Science test on the 21st. And trust me, my Western Civ and Science tests are going to be killer. Factor in the weekly Religion and Western Civ quizzes, and Science Lab work, and English essays, and Honors reading, and I am losing. my. mind!

Which considering we've not even been in class for a month is really kind of pathetic.

And I have to make it till October 6th before I get another break from this place.

I think a 4-day school week and 3-day weekend would save us all from a lot of added insanity.

I mean, most of y'all probably have jobs and could use an extra day to breathe, right? I can't be the first one to have thought of this.

9/11/01 - WE REMEMBER

I don't remember a life before 9/11.  A life without fear.  It's kind of like how I don't remember life before my dad died.  We all have these moments that shape us, that change who we are forever.  I may not remember much about what happened, but I live every day with effects of that tragic morning all around me.

You see it on the housefronts with the American flag flying proudly.

You see it on the marquees that read "GOD BLESS AMERICA."

You see it on the news programs covering the war we're still fighting nine years later.

You see it in the airports.

You see it in the obituaries, listing the latest casualties.

It's everywhere.  America is not the same.

I was only 9 years old and in 5th grade. I remember that we hadn't been in class very long.  After my teacher, Mrs. Smith got the message, she explained that our country had been attacked and turned on the TV.  Then, our principal came on and announced that the school was on lockdown, and no one was allowed to leave their rooms.  Let's just say, we got no work done that day.  We were just a bunch of 9 and 10-year-old kids, but we understood that something very big had happened to us.  We just had no idea how big it was.

I may not remember much about that day, but I do remember this:  I live in the greatest country in the world.   The country filled with men and women who volunteer to risk their lives so that we can keep living our lives blissfully unaware of what other people live with on a daily basis. 

Remember those who died that day.

Remember those still fighting to protect us.

Remember that there are people still out there trying to destroy the life we hold so dear.

Always remember...

I'm a real wild child, I tell ya.

Here's what my Friday has consisted of.

• woke up at 8 with a headache so bad I cried holding my eyes open
• emailed a girl in my Religion class to see if she'd give me notes
• went back to bed till 11
• got up, got ready, and ate lunch
• went to French to take my French test
• went to English
• came back to the room and took a nap
• ate dinner
• did homework
• watched TV
• did more homework

Thrilling stuff, isn't it?  I was supposed to meet with a guy in my French class, Matt, to do a dialogue, but he asked me to move it till tomorrow.  At least I'll have something that will force me to get a shower and get out of my pajamas tomorrow. I'm known to stay in my pajamas all day on Saturday. ;)

A girl in my English class, Becca, also wants me to hang out with her and her sister tomorrow, but we'll see if that happens.  I've got to do a ton of reading for Western Civ (we have quizzes every week, and this week's quiz is on two chapters, and we have a test on Thursday) and Science (that I've just been putting off, and now I have to read 5 chapters before our test on the 21st). 

I just can't do anymore homework tonight.  I've been nauseous so I'm about to crash from this Phenergan I took.  

Good news, though, is that I can actually walk all the way from my bed to the toilet in the bathroom.  I look forward to the day when I can walk to class. :)

Hope your Friday night has been more entertaining than mine! :)

Baby Steps

That's what my life is right now. Baby steps.

Itsy bitsy, teeny weeny (yellow polka dot bikini!...sorry) baby steps.

This part of the recovery process absolutely sucks because it's the most painful, but it's also the most crucial.

The good thing is that I don't have to push myself. I can't push myself. One, for the risk of tumbling and screwing my foot up again, and two, because of the pain in my left ankle. So things are going very, very slooooooooowly. However, I think I'm at about the same point I was 2 days after getting the cast off from the first surgery, so that's good.

Oh, and I forgot to show you guys the awesome before and after shot of my feet. It's so amazing. I still sometimes look at my feet and think they look like someone else's feet. :)

Isn't that cool?  And don't worry, the right bigt toe still looks crooked because of swelling.  I'm telling ya, it's a huge, huge improvement.  The best part of all is that aside from the tendon pain in my ankle, my left foot doesn't hurt at all.  I don't remember my feet ever not hurting, guys.  Can you tell I'm on Cloud Nine about this? :)

Speaking of tendons, though, I've flared up the tendonitis in my left arm from copying 7 pages of notes today, so I can't write anymore.  Besides, it's late.

The Gift That Keeps On Giving

So I've already told you about how wonderful this past weekend was, and this afternoon, it went up another notch in the Mallory Book of Awesomeness.

I looked in my planner (don't judge) to get my reading assignment for Intro to Christianity, looked at tomorrow's block and saw "NO SCIENCE LAB." Suh-weeeeeeeeeeeet!

That means I get done at 1:50 instead of 4:50. And considering I'm like three times as doped up as I usually am thanks to starting over at the top of the pain scale with my foot, that three hours is huge.

I wish I could look forward to the day that I'm not so tired anymore, but that's just not going to happen. You'd think my exhaustion would be from the painkillers, but because of my lack of thyroid and seizure meds, my doctors have already warned me that I'm pretty much going to be this tired for the rest of my life. Sounds exciting, no? Oh well. Can't change it, so I just have to deal with it. That's what I have to remember.

Good and Bad

As in, it's good totally freakin' AWESOME that after three and a half months, I am cast free for good. No more scooter. No more taking twenty minutes to get in and out of the shower. No more cast cover. No more panicking about the rain.

However, the bad is that the pain was finally almost gone, and now it's back to extreme because guess what? When you don't walk on your foot for 6+ weeks, it doesn't really like doing it again. Thank heavens for pain killers and my power chair, that's all I can say. Oh, and did I mention how I scrubbed and picked the dead skin off my foot for over an hour tonight and it still looked covered in it. Hooray for lotion and baby oil.

But anyway, Dr. P said the x-rays looked fantastic, and that the issue with my left ankle is that I've overworked the tendon on the outside from only standing on and pushing on that ankle for so long. Kinda weird that it happened to my good ankle but not my bad one when I was only using it, but whatever.

I go back in a month. He wanted me back in two weeks but I begged him to let me wait till my fall break because I really can't afford to miss another day of class.

My visit was so frustrating today. Mommom and I showed up 50 minutes early, at 10:50 for my 11:40 appointment, and I still didn't get called back till 12:25. Yet about 8 people who got there way after me were called back and got through their appointment before I was even called back. You'd think they'd see people in the order they show up, but apparently not. What made it worse is that I had to listen to my grandmother sigh and whine and complain, which really got on my nerves.

We didn't get back to Campbell till 5, and since I had my 5:00 class, thankfully, Mommom and my RD Laura unloaded my stuff so I could just grab my notebook and rush to class. I was only a few minutes late, and I had called my professor earlier this afternoon about being late, so all was fine.

All right, now I must get to bed. I do have to get up at 7:30.

Never Have I Ever

been so darn excited for a doctor's appointment as I am for my appointment tomorrow.

After 3 months, 2 weeks, and 3 days (yes, I counted), I will finally be cast free and STAYING that way!

This casting time has felt so much longer than the first one. Probably because I've had more stuff to do, so it's more obvious that it's getting in my way.

Plus, I can get my doc to look at my left ankle, because I've definitely done something to it. Of course. But hopefully a good brace will just be the solution.

Tomorrow evening, I'm going to post a before and after of my feet, so you can get an idea of why these surgeries were so important and so exciting for me. :)

Happy Labor Day!

Lovely

This weekend has overall just been lovely.
Chelsea's not picking fights.
Mom is chill because Chelsea's not picking fights.
I can sleep in.
I'm not stressing about anything.
Mom went out and bought grouper tonight just because I said I was craving it. (And we're going to Olive Garden tomorrow! We didn't make it to Jacksonville today.)

And, of course, best of all is that I've gotten in some quality snuggle time with my Blake man. I can't help but think about how strong my love for this little baby is when he's not even mine, and how much stronger it's going to be when I'm holding my own baby. (Which makes me pray about the "ovarian disorder" my doc has warned me I might have - being a mom is the thing I want absolutely most out of life.) It's also helped me to really understand how fast time goes by. It literally feels like it was yesterday that I was sitting in English class when I got the text that Chelsea's water broke, and now he's six months old!

Okay, cut the sappyness, Mal.

Really, though, this weekend has been exactly what I needed. :) I hope yours has been just as blessed.

It's Been A Long Time

Last night, right here in my warm and cozy bed, I got the best sleep I've gotten in weeks.

That in itself should be proof that I desperately needed this weekend at home. A weekend where I could relax. A weekend where I didn't have to think.

Today, we were lazy. Mom and I watched Date Night (one of my new favorite movies, I must say) and then went to Las Fincas for dinner with Blake while Chelsea slept. I even ran into Mr. Laughinghouse, my high school French teacher. So that was fun. When you're stuck on a college campus 24/7, you can kind of forget what real restaurant food tastes like. ;)

Tomorrow, we're going shopping in Jacksonville and to Walmart to get Blake some 6 month pics made. These will be the first professionally done pictures we've had taken of him, so it's a little exciting. Speaking of Blake, he seems so much bigger now, even though I just saw him a little over two weeks ago! Plus, there's the fact that I can't believe tomorrow it will actually be 6 months since he was born! It's like...what did we do before he was here? God, I love that kid.

Okay, I think I'm gonna read my new People magazine and go to bed. I love my bed. :)

Home. Finally.

My friend Rebekah lives in New Bern, and since she was coming home for the weekend, as well, she agreed to give me a ride to save my mom or grandma five hours of driving. Well, even though I was expecting to leave between 3:30 and 4, we didn't pull out of the parking lot at Campbell till 5:40, which meant that we didn't get to New Bern till 7:40. She drove me to Mom's friend Rachel's house, because Mom was hanging out there killing time to avid going home between work and me getting there. We left Rachel's around 8:10, and after a couple stops, arrived home at 9:15.

I. am. exhausted.

So glad to be home for the weekend.

Now, I'm going to bed. 7:30 am was a loooooooong time ago.

4 days till I get my cast off! :D

Another dull day.

I think it's because my body is trying to get used to this new medicine the doc put me on,
and the fact that it's a muscle relaxer that makes me drowsy,
and that they're weaning me off my Lyrica,
but I seriously feel like every ounce of energy has been drained out of my body.
I so need this weekend to relax and rest.
Thank heavens I don't have any homework to take with me.
I can just hang out with my family.
And I can't wait to see Blake! And hug him and squeeze him and kiss him to death.
And to give him the onesie I bought him. :)
Five days till I get my cast off! :D

Happy September!

Two things I really like about it being September 1st:

1) I get to go home in two days.
2) I get my cast off in six days!!!

I really don't have anything to say tonight, so I'll leave you with that. :)