Make it stop!

Make the itching stop!
The bottom of my foot is itching so badly and I can't scratch it!
Worst.
Feeling.
Ever.

In other news, I looked up the word "awkward" in Google Translator.
Spanish = torpe
French = maladroit
German = ungeschickt
Italian = scomodo
There, now you can say "awkward" in 5 different languages.

That's about it. I've been dizzy, nauseous, and overheated for most of the day, afraid I was going to pass out (but luckily I didn't!), even though I've eaten plenty today, so I've spent pretty much all day in bed. And Mom is exhausted and not feeling well, either, so the house has been nice and quiet. Lovely.

I gotta eat something to take another pain pill, and then I think I'm going back to bed. :)

Madre and I

We are quite the pair.
Especially when Chelsea leaves.
Mom = weak.
Me = crippled.
So my grandma was here pretty much all day taking care of us.
The downside is that my grandma tends to get overbearing when someone's sick or hurt.
The upside is that she made us a freakin amazing dinner.

You know what's awesome about this surgery (and the one coming in July)?
Even though I have a cast, I have a waterproof cast cover so I can still shower.
First surgery in quite some time where I haven't had to get sponge baths from Mom.
In how many different languages can you say AWKWARD?
:)

I think Mom is finally breaking down and agreeing to take me to the doctor this week about this never-ending period.
Hallelujah. Because this is just getting old.

Happy Memorial Day Weekend to everyone! :)

Girl Talk and Some Venting

Okay, first off, if talk of a girl's period bothers you, just go ahead and skip this paragraph...I am so freaking tired of my period. Three years ago, I went on the 4-periods-a-year birth control because I was having spine surgery in September, and my doctor didn't want me to have to worry about my period while I was recovering from it. For a while, it was great. But lately, it hasn't been doing crap. Like this quarter, for example. I started bleeding 3 weeks ago, basically the day I left Campbell. Guess what? I'm still bleeding. And next week is the week I'm actually supposed to have my period. Not to mention I basically have to make a diaper out of pads to keep from ruining all my underwear. This. freaking. sucks.

Second of all, today I've really been fighting the urge to punch Chelsea in the face. She has got to be the most selfish person on the planet. Mom comes home from the hospital today, and basically the first thing Chelsea asks is "So can I go out tonight? I'll take Blake with me." SERIOUSLY?! Anybody with half a brain could figure out that Mom is in massive pain and can barely move without crying, and I can't exactly take care of her by myself, and yet it's all about Chelsea. And when Mom said no, she turned into evil bitch Chelsea, which has made this whole evening suck majorly.

Oh, and you wanna hear something freaking fantastic? Apparently, she's getting married in July. To the guy she told me two weeks ago she doesn't even have feelings for. And he wants another baby. He's deploying in November and apparently wants to start trying in August so that she can be pregnant while he's gone, and then he'll be back for the birth. Heaven help us.

Actually, heaven help him. Because he has no freaking clue what he's getting himself into. He doesn't see the Chelsea who's perfectly content living in utter filth. The Chelsea who can't even put dirty diapers and wipes into the Diaper Genie that's right next to the changing table. The Chelsea who puts holes in walls and throws things when she gets mad. The Chelsea who can't do anything for anyone else unless she gets something out of it. Yeah, if by some microscopic chance they do actually get married, I predict this guy will be out of sight faster than you can say hasta la vista.

Is this harsh of me? Yes. But it's realistic.

Pray for my mom. She's in massive pain, and the hospital doctors sent her home without pain meds. And she can't take any of mine because I took the last of her Phenergan, and she's afraid to take narcotics without Phenergan because she'll get sick to her stomach, and if she throws up she could bust the incision where they did the catheterization yesterday and bleed out. (That was a really long sentence.) And she has to deal with my psycho sister.

There's just a lot going on here right now.

I have to get better about this.

When Chelsea doesn't take her medicine (which is really about 50% of the time), she has two different personalities.
She's either evil, I'm going to make you as miserable as possible Chelsea
or 4-year-old, I can't stop talking to you because I need attention no matter how annoyed you are Chelsea.
I should be used to this. It's always been this way.
And as much as I've been trying to work on my temper, I couldn't get past how annoying she was being today.
Granted, it was after I asked her about 50 times to please just leave me alone, and she wouldn't have been this way if she had taken her medicine on time yesterday, but still.
I have to be nicer to her, no matter how annoying she gets.
Because she's my sister.
And she's taking excellent care of me (since she is getting paid for it).
At least I'm trying, right?

On the plus side, I did get to spend a lot of time snuggling with Blake today, and that makes everything okay! :) Ah, I love that boy so much. It's crazy. Considering how strongly I feel for him, and he's not even mine, I can't imagine how I'll feel once I have my own kids. :)

Okay, good night. Mommom is coming to pick me up at 9:45 so we can go to the hospital to be with Mom, so I gotta get some rest!

Good news about Mom!

They did another heart catheterization today, and everything is fine!
The doctors say she's just having bad spasms, which is very treatable.
She has to lie (lay? I suck at knowing which one to use) flat for like eight hours to make sure the artery closes/heals properly,
but this means she'll be able to come home tomorrow!
It's a darn good thing, too, because I'm about to beat my head against a wall.
Thanks for praying!

Blah blah blah.

SO.
TIRED.
Have done nothing but sleep, eat, and take pain meds today.
My cast itches SO BADLY.
It's driving me crazy.
Mom's still in the hospital.
I don't know anything new.
That is all.

Mom's back in the hospital.

She is having massive chest pain still, so she called her cardiologist and managed to get an appointment this afternoon.

I just talked to my grandma, and she said that my mom is staying overnight in the hospital. The doctor wants to run some more tests, and he gave her the option of going home or staying there, and since she's in so much pain she decided to stay there and get some pain meds.

Words can't express how scared I am right now, guys. I can't lose her. I just can't.

Please pray.

Lucky

As in...I am so lucky my mom didn't go to work today.

I had a seizure this afternoon, for the first time in a long time.

Also, I'm lucky she caught me, and I was sitting on the toilet so that I didn't fall and hit anything.

Not sure what the cause was. It might've been that I didn't eat enough while on pain meds. Which I didn't really realize I was doing.

I'm okay. I've just been really lethargic all afternoon since. I'd forgotten how weird this makes me feel afterwards.

So yeah. That's my day.

Things never change.

Chelsea has been gone with Blake since last Sunday.
Mom texted her tonight and said that if she didn't come home, Mom was getting a lawyer and filing for custody.
Today, Chelsea wasn't even at the friend's house she left with last weekend.
She left Blake with that friend and went out with bad people.
She will never change.
And she just arrived home, so things are about to go all to hell.
Pray for sanity for my mom and me, and safety for Blake.
We desperately need it.

Sigh.

I am an uncoordinated idiot.

Even though I know how crucial it is that I put absolutely NO weight on my left foot for the next six weeks,
I have now stumbled and fallen on my foot twice.
It hurts.
SO bad.
And my mom yelling about how she hopes I haven't screwed up the bone fusions isn't exactly helping.
Ain't it grand how parents can pick the worst situation possible to yell about when you already feel badly enough?
It's not like I'm doing this on purpose, or like it's fun for me!
It's not! It hurts like hell!
Gah.
Lord, help me to be safer and keep off this foot. Please.

Slowly but surely...

I'm getting more able to work with this scooter. It's still not very easy because I have to use my right leg to push myself up, and that leg has like zero strength. It will be easier six weeks from now when it's my right foot that I can't use and my left leg is able to do the pushing. But I'm doing my best.

I do have a shower chair and a waterproof cast cover so I was able to get fantastically clean this afternoon. Mom was just happy she didn't have to give me a sponge bath. ;)

And my grandma is coming to spend the day with me tomorrow because Chelsea still hasn't come home and I'm nervous about being alone all day when I still have so much trouble moving.

I tell ya, though...anyone who thinks that people recovering from surgery can't get exercise clearly has never had their feet operated on. The simplest of tasks (like getting to the bathroom) is absolutely exhausting.

Now...I think I'm gonna go back to sleep.

Nothing in my life...

can EVER go off smoothly.

You didn't hear from me yesterday because I unexpectedly had to stay overnight in the hospital.

Why? you may ask.

Because the docs didn't do general anesthesia, they did sedation with a foot block that would keep the foot numb longer than usual. And since I wasn't under general anesthesia, I didn't have a breathing tube in and ended up aspirating on fluid during the surgery. Because of that, the top of my right lung collapsed. (Ironically, in November, the bottom of my right lung collapsed with that staph pneumonia.) My oxygen sats were at like 85 almost steadily without an oxygen mask, and they had to keep me overnight to make sure I didn't contract pneumonia.

The good news is that staying vernight on oxygen cleared it all up, and so I got home around 3 this afternoon.

The most annoying part about the whole thing was that my mom wasn't there from 7:30 last night to 12:15 this afternoon. I was not a happy camper. But I knew she had to go last night because she didn't have her heart meds with her because we weren't expecting an overnight stay, so I didn't get upset then. I did, however, get irritated because she said she would be back at 10 am and didn't even get out of bed till then. I blame that on loneliness and lack of sleep. (I literally was only sleeping in 15-20 minutes increments all night, despite the drugs.) I got over it by the time she got there, though.

This cast I have over my foot feels like a cinderblock that's cutting off the circulation. It's not very fun. My mom has looked in the top of the cast and was amazed at how straight my toes are. :) I can't wait till I get the chance to see it! June 7th, I go back and get this cast taken off, new X-rays and an exam of the foot, and hopefully the cast he's putting back on isn't quite as bulky or heavy as this one.

The weird thing is that the last thing I remember is saying bye to my mom before surgery. Usually, I can remember up until they wheel me into the OR. (A few times I've told OR nurses that the OR smelled really good.) But apparently, the sedative drugs they gave me were quicker to work than I ever expected them to.

Gotta go! Mom made me a steak sandwich! MMMMMMMM.

Shonda Rhimes, are you TRYING to kill me?!

So there's this little show called Grey's Anatomy.
I love it.
I watch it every week.
Tonight was the season 6 finale.
Let me tell you, it was the most hellacious and nervewracking two hours you could ever see on a TV screen.
By the end of it, I felt like I had run a marathon I was so exhausted from being tense so long.
Usually, I love my DVR because I can fastforward through commercials.
Tonight? I needed commercials to catch my breath.
But as soon as my heartrate returned to normal, the show came back on.
CRAZY.
Shonda Rhimes, the producer, is a very strange person for putting that two hours together!
:)

Sorry, had to post something a little lighthearted.
Surgery is tomorrow at 11:30.
I have to be at the hspital at 9:30.
That means we're leaving at 8.
My grandma is coming with so she can pick up my scooter.
Wish me luck!
I will update as soon as I can.

And I never got my ramp put up today.
The guy who's in charge of getting it together couldn't round up help.
But he promises it will be up in the morning, in plenty of time before I get home tomorrow evening.
Good night. :)

I seem to be losing intelligence.

My mom and I just watched the season finale of Law & Order: SVU, and either I'm incredibly tired, or I'm not as smart as I used to be.

First, there was a scene where Elliot and Olivia (the two detectives, for those of you who may not watch) found a maid of a nearly empty motel tied up in a bathroom without her clothes. She said that a man came in and told her to take off her clothes, and he put them on, and ran off with a little boy he had with him. A cop said "The maid we told to get out of here was the kidnapper!" And for some reason, I asked my mom, "Wait, who's the kidnapper? Is that lady the kidnapper?" Uh no, Mallory, that would be the maid the kidnapper stole the clothes from.

Then, at the end of the show, someone sent Elliott a text while he was climbing through air ducts to get to a woman who was holding the ADA and her ex hostage because she was distraught from their son dying. Through the whole show, the mom was the main suspect in hiring someone to kidnap her son because the dad had sole custody. It said "It was Phil (the dad). He hired Bradman (the kidnapper). He got a credit card in Sophie's (the mom) name." And for some bizarre reason, I still had to ask my mom "Why would Phil hire someone to kidnap his son when he already had sole custody?" Because he was framing Sophie! DUH.

Maybe I just need to go to sleep.

The good news is, a few men from the local church are coming to put up my ramp tomorrow! I'm relieved that that is finally being taken care of, and in time for my surgery.

Peace and Quiet

It's lovely.
Mom's back at work full-time.
Chelsea and Blake are at a friend's house for a few days.
And since I can't seem to shake these sinus issues or this headache, it's just what I need.
My grandma wanted to take me to Bingo tonight (don't laugh!), but since I couldn't even open my eyes when I woke up today, that was a negative.
So basically, I'm just relaxing and counting down the days till Friday.
Hope you all are having a good week!

Will it ever end?!

I have no idea what has got me so congested,
but if I don't get rid of it soon,
I will cry.
My face feels like it's gonna explode.
I was up till 4 am sneezing so hard I would shake and my back would pop.
Ugh.

In other news, I've recently discovered Skype.
It's awesome.
I can finally hear the voices of all my friends in England after almost 2 years!

Okay, that's all I've got.

About time!

So remember how on March 13 I finally met my favorite band Scarlet Grey?

Well, Pete, the bassist finally sent me the three pics that were on his camera!

Pete, me and Ben (the lead singer)

hahaha I am so cheesin'! This was the drummer Cole's idea.

Ah, having these makes me so happy.  And I promised you guys I would show them to you whenever I got them, so here they are.

Google FAIL.

So, I'm horribly directionally-challenged.
That's why I use Google Maps for everything.
And I mean ev-ery-thing.
My grandma took me to Wilmington for my pre-op appointment today.
I was supposed to go to Cape Fear Hospital.
Well, Google sent me to New Hanover Regional Medical Center.
CFH and NHR are apparently part of the same hospital network.
But they're miles apart.
We were half an hour late for my appointment today.
Google failed me.
It was a very sad day.
All I can say is...thank heavens NHR had directions from there to CFH. Otherwise, we would've been in major trouble.

I really need to learn how to follow directions by myself.

Grrrrrrrr.

Today is just not a good day.

My mom didn't say a single nice word to me until about 9 pm tonight.
And that includes yelling at me because Blake was crying when I was babysitting for the first time ever.

Chelsea's been all sorts of cranky.

My grandmother comes over to pick her up and starts yelling because Mom, who's recovering from a dang heart procedure, is letting artichokes go to waste.

And then I get online this evening and my grades are finally posted.
A's in French, Western Civ, Econ, and English.
B in Government (which I am TOTALLY okay with!).
and a freaking C in CUW.
Something I am not supposed to have.

The grading policy for that is all based on absences.

Two absences equals an A. Three a B, four a C, five a D and 6 or more an F.

I missed April 5, February 22, and February 1. BUT the professor, Mrs. Beam, said that she was not going to count February 1 against me because it was the day I left about 5 minutes in and had to go to the hospital.
AND on April 12, she announced that the April 19 meeting was the last one, and if we went, it was considered extra credit and would take an absence off of our total, but if we didn't go, it wouldn't hurt us. I'm 100% positive she said that. I even confirmed it with the assistant, Ms. Tucker, to make sure I understood it right. So I didn't go to the April 19 meeting.

Now, she's saying that attendance was counted on that day.

And I know that if I ask Ms. Tucker, she'll lie and agree with Mrs. Beam just so she doesn't have issues. Because that's the way the world works.

AND she snapped at me in her email because apparently asking "what's the problem here?" is "disrespectful and inappropriate," which I don't get, but either way I didn't mean for it to sound like that.

Oh well. A B looks and sounds a heck of a lot better than a C. I just certainly won't be trusting anything that comes out of that woman's mouth any time soon.

Is there such a thing...

as too much sleep?
Because if there is, I'm toeing the line of sane levels and insane.
Ah well, that's summer.
My mom didn't go to work today because she was up all night.
:(
Chelsea's still a pain.
Blake's still too cute for words.
Same ol' thing.
G'night.

Oh, and I think I was an Italian in a former life because the extent of my love for garlic bread should be illegal.

The Beauty of Summer

I love that 95% of the time, there's really nothing I have to do.
I can divulge in my night-owl tendencies and get up whenever I want.
I can relax and finally not stress about anything.
Except for the fact that all of my grades still aren't posted, and that's driving me a little crazy, but that's just who I am. ;)
And I tell ya, my body greatly appreciates the amount of sleep I can get.
I'm looking forward to my surgery so much, I can't even find the words.
Ten days and counting.
My mom got cleared to drive and go back to work.
She's gonna go half-days tomorrow through Friday to try and not push herself too much.
I think that's about it.
I'll try and post some new Blake pictures soon, so you can see just how cute he is.
I keep meaning to do it, but then I forget.
It will have to wait till tomorrow at least, because I'm gonna take a shower and go to bed.

Being sick really bites.

I can't get enough sleep.
My head and ears want to explode.
My throat burns.
You get the picture.
But really, I'll take this over what my mom is going through.
Her chest still hurts.
Her whole body is sore.
She can hardly move.
She took my grandma to get mani-pedis for Mother's Day and looked like she was going to pass out when she got home.
She's going back to the cardiologist tomorrow, and she says she wants him to clear her to drive and go back to work, but we're both worried about whether she's ready or not.
I don't want something to happen to her again.
Pray she starts feeling better/closer to normal soon.
Thanks.

Random Update

Mom's home.
I think I'm sick.
I feel like crap.
Chelsea's being Chelsea.
Blake's still freakishly adorable.
My pre-op for my first foot surgery is on Friday.
I've kicked a vacuum in my mom's room 3 times in the past 2 days.
I'm going to break my toes if I don't stop doing that.
My ears feel like they're going to explode.
Happy Mother's Day to all the mothers out there!
Good night.

Show Us Your Life Friday - Baby Names

You may not know this about me (as in I can't remember if I've talked about this before) but I have a massive obsession with baby names.  For as long as I can remember, I've had a list of the names I want to give to my future children, with the number of kids I want varying through the years.  (When I was 8, I wanted 12.  Blame Cheaper by the Dozen.)  However, for quite a while now, I've wanted 4 kids.  And yes, I have 4 boys names and 4 girls names picked out.  (My future husband is going to have quite a battle if he doesn't like these names! haha)

Boys:

Jayden Richard

Jayden is just a name I've loved for a long, long time.  Yes, it was even before Britney Spears named her son Jayden James.  I remember I used to like Jayden Marco, but then I realized I wanted all the middle names to be family related.  Richard, as you know, is my dad's first name.  It's also my mom's brother's middle name.

Elijah Robert

Eli was my maternal grandmother's dad's name, and my mom has always loved it.  However, he pronounced it E-lee, and my mom loved E-lie.  She's talked about that name a lot, and I realized I loved it, but wanted a longer name, Elijah, as the first name, with Eli as the nickname.  Robert is my maternal grandfather's name.  He passed away when I was 2, so I never really got to know him, but I know this will make my grandmother very happy.

Logan Keith

I started loving the name Logan after obsessively watching Gilmore Girls and Rory had a boyfriend named Logan.  As time went on, I loved it more and more.  Keith is my dad's middle name, and the name he went by.

Tyler Vincent

Again, Tyler is just a name I've loved for a long time.  I think Ty is a really cute name for a little boy.  Vincent is my cousin Stephen's middle name, and he's probably my favorite cousin on my dad's side of the family. :)  He got his middle name from his mom's brother who died from AIDS in the '70s or '80s.

Girls:

Madison Claire

Madison Claire is the one name I love that hasn't changed or been replaced with another name through the years.  It's also the one name that doesn't really have a family connection.  I think Madison sounds really cute with Mallory. :)  And she will be called Madison, not Maddie or anything.  Claire is my cousin Emily's middle name, and I love it, but she really wouldn't be named for her.

Isabella Paige

Yes, Isabella is one of the most popular names right now, but I don't care.  I love it.  And who knows? By the time I have kids, it may not be/probably won't be as popular.  I also have this weird dream of having twin girls so I can name them Isabella and Anabella.  Paige is my sister Chelsea's middle name.

Brooklynn Nicole

Brooklynn combines my love for New York City and love for my mom.  My mom's name is Sheri Lynn.  Nicole is my sister Holly's middle name.

Kiley Ann

I love Kiley.  The middle name I've put with it has changed through the years, but Kiley has always been on my list of favorites.  Ann is my middle name and my maternal grandmother's middle name (I was named after her), so it's important to me that I pass this on.

So there you have it!  I couldn't not participate in this SUYL.  It was nice to finally have a topic I could participate in!  What names do you love?

Update on my mom.

In the catheterization, they found that one of my mom's main arteries was 80% blocked.
She went into surgery about 3:45 to get a stint put in. The stint will open up the blockage and should take care of all her chest pain and blood pressure issues.
They'll watch her for 24 hours, and as long as all her numbers are good, she will be able to come home tomorrow evening.
Words can't describe how happy and thankful I am that someone finally figured out what has been going on with her. It was so frustrating to have our doctor put her on medication after medication with nothing happening.
Thank you for praying!

**Update 5:52 pm: My grandma just called. My mom's out of surgery and okay. Hallelujah!

Prayer Request for My Mom

Well, I'm home, but I'm far too concerned for my mom to be excited about that.
She went to work yesterday morning, and her chest pain was so bad she left and went to the hospital and has been there since in the Coronary ICU. Her heart and blood pressure are still giving her major trouble. They're doing a heart catheterization tomorrow to check everything out, so hopefully we'll know more then.
Please pray for her.
I'll let you know more when I know more.

The good news: I didn't think Blake could get any cuter...and he did. :)

I wish I could do a cartwheel.

Because if I could, I seriously would've done one when I got out of my French exam today.
I hereby declare this semester over.
:D
And my other exam today, Western Civ, felt like the easiest test I've ever taken.
I finished the 60-question test, the 25-question semester assessment test, and the teacher evaluation in twenty minutes.
The rest of today has been filled with just relaxing, doing laundry, washing dishes, and finishing packing everything up.
Ah, I am so happy to be done.
And Blake is 2 months old today! Crazy.
I'm gonna watch SVU, The Nanny, and go to bed whenever I feel like it. :)

Tomorrow!

Nothing like it.

So I get up this morning and after getting dressed, I checked my Facebook.
What's the first thing I see?
My friend Morgan's status asking if anyone can help us move on Thursday.
Proceed panic.
What happened to the two guys who were supposed to help, Corbin and Bryan?
Corbin and Morgan got in a fight, and his sick grandmother came into town, and Bryan?
I don't really know what his excuse was for cancelling.
Nothing like a good freak out first thing in the morning, huh?
The possibility of being stuck was making my heart race.
What can I say? I'm a worrywart.
So I call Holly.
Thank God for Holly.
She had to see if she was on the schedule for work Thursday morning.
Well, this afternoon she contacted me on Facebook, and of course (with my luck) she was, but if there was no other time we could do it, she'd get someone to cover her shift.
Seeing as how my check out time is 2 o'clock, we were kind of stuck.
So she's getting someone to cover for her, and will be here at 10:30 Thursday morning.
*major sigh of relief*

2 days! (Well, really, now like 40 hours, but who's counting? ;))

1 down, 4 to go.

Of course, my professor decided to spring a surprise grammar test on us as part of our final, but I was still out of there in 15 minutes.

My friend, Amy, took me to take care of my storage facility today, which was so sweet of her. I had to go to some attorney's office and fill out a paper and pay for the space for the whole summer, and then go to Walmart and buy a lock. It's quite a relief to have that taken care of, so I can't be shocked and find out they've run out of spaces or whatever.

I didn't go get a funnel cake because my feet were killing me, but luckily I only have to walk about 20 yards to get my midnight breakfast. :)

Tomorrow, I have my Government exam at 12 and my Economics exam at 3. I tell ya, a 1000-pound weight will be lifted off my shoulders when I finish that Government exam. :)

3 days!

87.5

That's approximately how many hours I have till I am OUT OF HERE!
I actually started putting the clothes that are going into storage into bags today.
It felt great.
I'm tired of studying.
My day's been pretty boring.
I slept.
I ate.
I studied.
I packed.
I studied more.
I plucked my eyebrows.
And here I am watching Brothers & Sisters.
Tomorrow is my English "exam." But since it was a take-home thing, I think all we'll have to do is go and turn it in and fill out a class evaluation. That shouldn't take long.
Then at 7, they're giving out "exam study bags" and free funnel cakes, so I'll definitely be going to get one of those because I love funnel cakes.
Then at midnight, my dorm is doing a "midnight breakfast" so I'll get some food there.

So excited! 4 days!

Not quite what I planned.

Yeah, I definitely didn't get out of bed till 3 today.
Thanks to what I can't decide is either allergies or a sinus infection giving me a bad headache..
I did a lot of studying when I got up, though!
And I'm about to go back to studying for a bit.

My dog was in the hospital Thursday and Friday. My mom described the amount of blood as like "a murder scene in a movie." :( They don't know what was/is wrong with him, though.

5 days!