One Day

That's all that's keeping me from this face.

I can't wait to see how much he's changed again.
I can't believe he's almost 4 weeks old.
Not much to say.
Still don't feel well.
Stressed about classes.
Excited to be home again.
That's really about it.

Good to Know

So tonight, I went to a lecture that my Economics teacher was hosting to get some extra credit. The main thing I learned? Alan Greenspan is responsible for America's economic crisis. Don't know how much I agree with it, but good to know. The upside was that there was really good food served for dinner.

I did not want to get up this morning. 8:00 came far too early, and I was so tired. Plus, I didn't sleep well last night because I kept coughing. But I knew I couldn't miss today because we were reviewing for our test Thursday in Economics, and in English we were going to the library for a lesson on how to use Campbell's library to do research for our research paper. Seeing as how my paper is going to be on the Jonas Brothers, I don't think that the library is going to be a big help. ;)

We got out of there a bit early, so I decided to just go to Shouse for lunch because it is so close to my room, and the library is much farther from Marshbanks than our usual classroom is. Well, while I was standing in line for my food, I started getting all dizzy and nauseous. I knew I was overheated, but I didn't think it was that bad. I came back to my room so I couldn't be in front of my fans, and unknowingly, I started hyperventilating. I didn't even realize that's what I was doing. I just thought I couldn't catch my breath. I didn't know if I needed to call an ambulance or what, because the room was spinning so fast and I couldn't manage to slow down my breathing. But I talked to my mom, and it eventually passed. It was scary, though.

I am very happy about two things:
a) I don't have class till 12 tomorrow because despite sleeping for almost two and a half hours this afternoon, I am still exhausted,
and b) the week is half over and I am two days away from seeing Blake again! :D

I survived

a 50 minute blaring rock concert that was completely not Christianity-related during Campbell University Worship with a pounding headache, 3 classes with no voice, and the annoying people at the infirmary.

The PA (that's all we get here at Campbell) said that I have either bronchitis or a respiratory infection, that it's really hard to tell without further testing. But he gave me an antibiotic and if I'm not feeling better next week, I am supposed to go back.

My mom's on her third week out of work. She was planning on going back today, but when she got up her blood pressure was 177/121, so work was a no-go. I'm so worried about her, and all that our doc is doing is giving her a bunch of different medications to see if one of them works, and I feel like she's apathetic. If this was just normal genetic blood pressure issues, wouldn't it respond to medication? My mom actually said today "I'm about ready for them to plant my butt in the hospital and run every test known to man till they know what's wrong." And considering how stressed my mom gets about medical bills sometimes, that's a big deal for her to say.

I can't wait for Thursday. Being sick makes my usual exhaustion level multiply by like five.

My Lungs

I think they hate me.

I definitely have to go to the infirmary tomorrow. I've barely been able to do anything all day because I can't stop coughing or needing another breathing treatment.

Thank heavens I did all my homework yesterday. Otherwise, I'd really be in trouble.

I think I am going to finish watching the Duke/Baylor game, take a shower, and go to sleep. Sleep sounds really good right now.

Productivity at its Finest

So here's what I've done today.

- gone to the post office to pick up medicine
- 4 loads of laundry, washed, dried, and put away (or put on my bed in the case of my sheets) (all 4 washers were empty when I got back from the post office so I could do all my loads at once! yay!)
- studied for my French quiz
- did three French exercises
- copied notes for a friend who missed Government yesterday
- read a 29-page chapter for Government
- took an hour and 45 minute nap :)
- filled out a map and studied it for a quiz in Western Civ Monday
- wrote out all the dates I might need to know for another quiz in Western Civ Monday

The bad news is I think I might have bronchitis or something. I'm having horrible trouble breathing, have been for like a week and a half but at first I thought it was just asthma, and coughing up green crap (TMI?) so I'm going to the infirmary after class on Monday.

I can't wait to go home and see Blake on Thursday!! :) :) :) I wish I was there now to help since Chelsea and Mom are both having health issues right now, so being away is hard.

Now I'm gonna go shave and take a shower.

Happy Saturday. A happy Saturday indeed.

Stupid Me

So remember how I talked about how my Lyrica couldn't get through the mail, that it kept being returned to my mom?

Yeah...that wasn't my mom's fault, or my grandma's fault.

It was fine.

I completely forgot that when my mom and I moved me into school over Labor Day in September, that we only paid for six months on my post office box.

Finally, my mom realized it when my Levothyroxine also kept getting sent back to her.

But...in my defense, she forgot, too! :)

Another stupid thing I did was decide to use my fingers to get hair out that kept getting stuck in my razor. Luckily, I didn't draw blood, but my thumb and index finger are raw, peeled, and burning. Bravo, me.

Happy Saturday! I'm spending mine doing laundry and homework. Yipp.ee.

Today sucked.

People suck.
I am 17, and I have an opinion about a lot of things.
My life is far from easy.
And I really don't appreciate a girl I thought was my friend attacking me, getting her husband to attack me, and just being downright rude and condescending.
So I deleted her from my Facebook (where this took place). I don't have time for this crap.
I'm still trying really hard to get over the being mad part. It just frustrates me that she thinks my life is easy just because I am not supporting myself financially and that I can't have an opinion on politics because I can't vote.
Argh.
Done talking about it now.

In other news, I got a 5 out of 5 on my second Economics quiz. A's are great. And hopefully the extra credit thing I'm going to on Tuesday will help make up for the B I got on the test. I really want all A's this semester.

Yeah. I'm tired. And really really glad that this week is almost over!

Crazy

Today was just...crazy.

Despite getting almost 10 hours of sleep, I've been exhausted all day.

I got a 100 on my French test, which I wasn't expecting.

My Government pop quiz was way too easy, which probably means I failed.

My Western Civ professor moved my next exam from this coming Monday to the following Monday, the ONE day I'm not going to be there.

My advisor's sign-up sheet for meeting about next semester has been hanging in front of his office all week, and I missed it because it looks like his office hours sheet and was hanging in the same place, so I got to feel like an idiot when I asked him where his was.

I went to the bank to withdraw $20, and found that would leave me with $7.19 in my account.

I went to the post office looking for my retainer, and it still wasn't there.

I called my orthodontist, and they said they called my mom last week and told her that FedEx lost my retainer, something she never told me, so I have to go in for a new impression. I thought that I wouldn't be able to go in till May after exams were over.

I called the ticketing agency, thinking the refund from my Charlotte tickets, and they said it was processed the night I called.

I went back to the bank, and they said the money came in on the 15th. I got a copy of my activity and realized that the money did come in and I spent it. Of course. So I got to feel like an idiot again.

I then called my orthodontist back because I realized that April 1st I get out of class at 12:20, and that I could go to the orthodontist that afternoon. Another phone call.

And extra walking. Rolling my heavy bookbag behind me.

The two good things about today were the 100, and my French teacher said the dialogue that Loukas and I came up with for Matt and us to present today was above and beyond what he expected. And since I came up with pretty much all of it, that made me feel really good. :)

Worrywarts Anonymous

Hi, my name is Mallory, and I am a worrywart.

Yes, I worry a lot. I don't know why. School assignments, family, my health, whatever. But sometimes I have good reason to.

So yesterday, my mom wouldn't answer me all day. She finally contacted me towards the end of Dancing with the Stars, and said she forgot to turn her ringer back on after school. Okay, fine.

Today, the same thing happened. I thought she forgot to turn the ringer back on again. Then, Chelsea called me at like 7:00 and I asked to talk to Mom. She said she turned it off on purpose because she was sleeping. And then she said something that a worrier like me never ever ever wants to hear. "I've been having some health problems I hadn't told you about."

Back up. WHAT?

Apparently, for like the past two weeks, my mom's been having blood pressure problems. She's had an EKG and a stress test and spent all night last night in the ER because it went "pretty high."

Agh. I hate it when people don't tell me important stuff like that! Especially when it concerns my family, let alone my mom, my best friend. It makes me feel like they still think of me as a kid, and I'm not.

But anyway, she's apparently on medication and the tests were normal so while they don't know why it's so high, she's okay. Just pray everything stays that way? Thanks.

Ups and Downs

Up: I didn't oversleep, despite not sleeping well last night.
Down: CUW was a complete bore.
Up: My French test was a piece of cake.
Down: My Republican Government teacher was in a horrible mood because of the Health Care Bill passing.
Up: I got a 5 out of 5 on my Western Civ quiz.
Down: I couldn't even walk from class back to my dorm because my feet are killing.
Up: I ran into Campus Safety on the way.
Down: I got a pounding headache this afternoon.
Up: I got to hang out with a cool guy for a bit.
Down: We were hanging out to do a French assignment.
Up: Dancing with the Stars premiered tonight!
Down: My mom didn't answer me all afternoon.
Up: I finally heard from her while watching Dancing with the Stars.
Extra Up: I got to look at Blake's picture all day, and show it to people! (He weighs 6 lbs 8 oz now.)
Extra Extra Up: My headache finally went away! :)

It's always nice to have more ups than downs!

What a pick-me-up.

Instead of just my mom driving up here to bring me my Lyrica, she brought my grandma, Chelsea, and Blake with her!! :) I never really understood what people mean when they say babies change every single day, until now. Because I held Blake and I was just like WHOA. We went to lunch, too. It was just fantastic.

And they gave me pictures!

Now, I know I'm totally not biased at all ;) but I think that's the cutest birth announcement ever. :D

I can't wait to see how much he's changed when I go home on the 1st. 

And my headache was better when I woke up, so today just rocks! :)

Aches and My Mom

(Yes, that's as creative as I can get right now.)

I have aches.

See. I realized on Sunday evening that I would run out of Lyrica yesterday morning (as in that would be my last pill). I called my mom immediately and asked her to go by the pain clinic and get a bunch of sample bottles and mail them to me because Lyrica costs more than $100 for 30 pills on our insurance, and they let us get those for free.

Well, Monday, my mom got a migraine. So she didn't.

Tuesday, she still had a migraine.

Wednesday, she got my grandma to pick up the pills and mail them to me. My grandma somehow messed up the addressing of it, and so they got returned.

My uncle, aunt, and cousin were coming up to Raleigh today because my cousin had a soccer game, and they said they'd bring them to me. My mom slept through my uncle's call, so he didn't pick them up. Missing last night's pill (it's a twice a day medication) didn't really affect me then, but I woke up today with a pounding headache, and aches all the way down my spine, in my neck, and across my shoulders.

So my mom texted me a little while ago asking me if she could overnight them on Monday, or if she needed to drive up here tomorrow. I knew full well she wanted me to say mailing them on Monday was fine, but I told her I really need them tomorrow, and I do because this pain sucks. It's keeping me from studying today for the test and quiz I have on Monday.

I shouldn't feel bad about saying that, but I do. Because I know she's tired. And that this past week was hard. Even when I should be worried about me, I'm still thinking about her. And when I do put myself first, I feel bad about it. And that's supposed to be a good trait, right?

*sigh* Even though I don't have the energy to study today, I am doing laundry, so at least I'm being somewhat productive.

TGIF

I don't remember the last time I was so thankful for a week to be over.
Maybe resting this weekend will help me feel better by Monday.
I skipped English yesterday, because I thought I was going to pass out.
And woke up at 4 this morning feeling like I was seconds away from vomiting, despite taking Phenergan.

Mom is sending me Blake's birth announcement and some pics. Yay! She told me the house's air conditioning is broken. So thankful I'm here! No air conditioning and I do not work well together. I remember when it happened years ago in another house. I had to go to my grandma's because I couldn't take it. And when I was home I was miserable and naked under my fan like 24/7.

I completely forgot to do a French assignment for today's class. Talk about embarrassing, especially since Dr. Steegar is the kind of teacher who likes to pick on you about stuff. Oh well. I do way better than pretty much everyone else in class, and I've never missed an assignment before.

I l-o-v-e the fact that it's in the 70s. Yay for warm weather! I think I'll be breaking out the shorts soon. (after I shave my legs, of course, haha!)

Hot

That's the best word to describe my being over the past two days.
Very, very hot.
Even with the AC on high and the coldest possible temp,
and two fans running,
still very, very hot.
Tired would be another good word.
I sleep 9 to 10 hours a night, and still take 3 hour naps in the afternoon.
Mom thinks it's a virus, so I just have to let this "run its course."
At least I haven't missed a class yet.
I think I'll watch the new SVU and, here's a shocker, sleep.
Good night.

I had an idea for this blog.

But I forgot it.
I do know that I've had a pounding headache all day, so my forgetfulness doesn't surprise me.
Today was rough.
A good deal of that is because it's the Monday after Spring Break.
Anyway, hope your day was good.

Old Friends

This morning, Holly and I went to see a friend of ours, Hannah.  We used to live in the same neighborhood years ago, before her step-dad got transferred in the military to Okinawa and then Florida.  This weekend, she's visiting her sister, Sarah, who lives about 30 minutes north of Charlotte, so we HAD to see her!  She had a baby in November, and this was the first time Holly and I met baby Kairi (pronounced kye-ree).  It was another great treat this weekend.  :)  Kairi was mad because she was hungry, but I treasure these pictures immensely, because I never know the next time I'll get to see her.

A complete 180

What I thought was one horribly crappy night just did a complete 180 and became one of the best nights of my entire life.

When Holly and I left the show venue, we decided that we needed to do something instead of sitting in the hotel room bored, with me thinking about how upset I was.

We went to a bowling alley. It was about 8:15, and a guy told us we wouldn't be able to get a lane till about 9:30. So we said we'd come back. I was able to call and get my tickets refunded ($72.50 I could definitely use).

When we went to the bowling alley, we had to wait in line for half an hour, which irritated us even more, but God had something bigger in store. ;) After we played two games, we got some drinks and I got a pretzel and we sat there for a bit. As we finished, I thought "They've got to still be at the venue." Holly said we could go back, and of course I jumped at the chance. By this point, it's 11:15. When we got there, I put on my saddest possible face, explained what happened, and convinced a security guy to let us in. I could see Ben (the lead singer and the guy I'm closest to) from the door where I was talking to the security guy, and as I walked towards him, he was taking a picture with some other fans, and as he saw me his face lit up.

We ended up hanging out with the band for an hour. Lots of hugs. FREE STUFF (which I wasn't expecting AT ALL!): I got a t-shirt and their new CD which technically isn't even released till next month, and Holly got a cool bag. Ben's cell number. And pictures, one of which is Ben and Pete (the other guy in the band I'm close to) kissing each of my cheeks. Now sadly, since I didn't think I'd get to see them, I didn't have my camera with me, so I have a picture on my phone, but Pete has the other pictures on his camera, and as soon as he gets them to me, I will post them here. :) (Oh, and I found out that the lady who said she'd get them my note never gave it to them, so thank heavens we went back!)

I am beyond elated about tonight. Those boys are even nicer in person than they are online.

Okay, so maybe I do have a little good luck. ;)

The song changed.

From "Tomorrow", a happy song to

Gloom, despair, and agony on me
Deep, dark depression, excessive misery
If it weren't for bad luck, I'd have no luck at all
Gloom, despair, and agony on me

Okay, so maybe not to that extent, but still.
Holly and I got to the venue, and I found out all three bands tonight are using strobe lights in their shows.
I had to leave.
Without meeting Scarlet Grey.
I asked the lady in charge who I was talking to to give them a note, so we'll see.
But I'm still heartbroken.
Just my luck.

The only good thing is that they're refunding our tickets.

And at least I stopped crying.

Agh.

I feel like singing.

Tomorrow, tomorrow! I love ya, tomorrow! It's only a daaaaaay aaaaawaaaaaaay!

:D
Charlotte tomorrow.
Watching the NC State/Florida State ACC game.
Had Tsunami for dinner.
Matt's coming over soon.
Blake is still cute.

I bought some Dr. Scholl's gel insoles to hopefully help my feet until this summer. I don't know why I haven't thought to buy them before now.

I'm tired. And bored. Bye!

Happy

Mom texted me this morning and said that she talked to Holly, and she definitely has Saturday and Sunday off! You have no idea how relieved and excited I am to know that these plans to meet Scarlet Grey are working out! Especially since I've spent a bunch of money already. ;)

I also talked to my friend Hannah, who used to live down the road from me but now lives in Florida, and she and her daughter are gonna be in Charlotte this weekend, too, to see her sister, so we might be able to have lunch on Sunday before Holly and I head back to Raleigh/Buies Creek. Her daughter, Kairi, is almost 4 months old and I haven't met her yet, so I'll be even more excited if this works out! :)

Plus, I found out that Mom, Chelsea and Blake, my grandma, and I are going to Tsunami tomorrow night. Which is kind of the icing on the cake.

More Surgery

So today my doc looked at my feet and said I have "mother bunyons". :) That made me laugh.

He hasn't done foot surgery in a while, and because my feet are so bad, he referred me to a surgeon he knows in Wilmington.

I'll probably meet that doc (Dr. Pupp! haha) in early April, and will be having surgeries on each of my feet this summer.

So yeah, this means I won't be able to get a job, but I'm looking forward to these being fixed. The pain is getting extreme, and it'll be nice not to have to worry about it anymore.

History

What do you call it when you see someone who you haven't seen in two and a half years, who you know you're completely over, but you still get a weird feeling in your stomach?

I saw Parker at the dentist's office today.

The second we glanced at each other, my heart started pounding a little bit harder.  That's not supposed to happen.  I got over him a long time ago.  When I've thought about him, I didn't feel anything.  So why did I all of a sudden feel something today?

Well, I know why.  He was the first boy I ever loved, despite the fact that we never dated.  He was the first boy I ever trusted completely.  He was the first boy who broke my heart.  And that will always mean something to me. 

But still, I got over him and everything that happened years ago.  WHY do I still let it get to me? Does this mean I never really got over it? Today is making me second guess everything. What threw me off even more is that he was actually nice to me.

And now I'm dealing with Matt, and all along I've been waiting for him to become like Parker because that's what I'm so afraid of, getting my heart broken again, and I think that's been screwing up my relationship with him.

I guess I just have to realize that history isn't something that can be forgotten, and Parker and I certainly have a lot of history together. I don't know if we could ever really be friends, but I hope maybe one day we could. If we could manage to talk the way we did today, even if it was just for a minute, maybe there's hope.

Now is one of those times it'd really be nice to predict the future. ;)

GREAT day!

Slept till 2.
Blake came home at 3:30.
Held him.
Fed him.
Kissed him.
Held him some more, when my mom wasn't stealing him from me. ;)
I love this.

Blake Pictures

So Chelsea's home, but Blake has to stay in the hospital an extra night for mild jaundice.  Since I have my camera back, I thought I'd upload some pictures so you all can see just how beautiful my nephew is. :)  Just a few, though.  Don't want to overwhelm you with all the cuteness. ;)

:)

Day 2

So I finally fell asleep about midnight last night, and aside from waking up to lock the door behind my grandmother (who was leaving to go to my cousin's soccer tournament in Raleigh) and a phone call from Chelsea, I didn't wake up till 1 pm. And it felt fantastic.

I stayed in my pajamas and watched TV (the Gymnastics Tyson American Cup and Gilmore Girls, to be specific) for hours until my mom called and told me she finished cleaning and was coming to pick me up.

We went to the hospital and I got to snuggle with my beautiful little nephew for two hours. He has a head full of soft brown hair with blond highlights, and I just can't get enough of kissing him. :) Chelsea will be coming home tomorrow, so that's exciting.

After that, we went to K-Mart to buy bottles because Chelsea can't breastfeed because of the medicines she's on, and then went to Food Lion. And then I came home and sat down because on top of my feet hurting, I'm having pleuritic pain again. The docs told me that once you get pleurisy, it can easily come back in the months after, but I thought I'd be wheezing or something. Oh well. I am now Auntie Mal, and that makes everything better. :)

I'm an AUNT!

To the absolutely most beautiful little boy in the world.
Blake Richard
March 5, 2010
8:04 am
5 lb 12 oz
19 inches

My camera will be with Chelsea in the hospital till Sunday, so pictures will have to wait. But trust me, he's beautiful and I am SO in love.

Now, I've been up for more than 28 hours with no sleep and I've never even come close to doing this, so I must crash.

Thanks for all the well wishes. Chelsea did great. Details and pictures will come later.

Chelsea's water broke!!!!!!

2:45 pm: Holly will be here in like 15 minutes to pick me up. It will take about 2 hours to get to the hospital. I'll tweet from my phone since I won't be able to be on the computer for a while. So updates will be at www.twitter.com/malloryajones

So excited!!!

-----

In the moment, I've decided that I am going home for the birth!! :)

Will update later!

16

That's how many hours I ended up sleeping today.
I had a headache so bad that I basically couldn't get out of bed.
I woke up at 10:30 and tried to get ready, and realized I couldn't.
Western Civ was cancelled, so I technically only skipped French and Government.
Oh well. I really couldn't help it.

Chelsea's going to be 39 weeks on Monday. She told me yesterday that at her appointment that day, her doctor wants to set up an induction date. Maybe this means that it'll be next week and I'll get to be there for it. :) Still trying to decide, if it's not next week, if I want to miss class and go home for it. I go back and forth. We'll see.

Okay, staring at this computer screen hurts. Good night. Here's to hoping I feel better tomorrow.

I just realized something.

I suck at blogging.

I don't have funny stories to tell you. I don't have beautiful pictures. I don't captivate people with my words (not that I'm aware of, anyway).

So it amazes me that anyone reads my pretty repetitive rambling of living here in this small town.

I hope you know that, even with as much whining as I do on this blog, I'm not this negative in person. I use this blog to vent because writing out my stress helps me release it.

Here's something you might have figured out already: I don't make friends easy. My family thinks I'm obsessed with the computer, and maybe I am. But it's because you all on here are the people who don't judge me, and even if there is someone on here who judges me, I don't care because I don't know you. I don't mean that in a harsh way, but it's pretty freeing.

You wanna know why I don't have pictures on here? Frankly, it's because I'm too forgetful to remember to take my camera anywhere, and if I do remember, I'm too lazy to take pictures and upload them on here.

I realize that I say the same thing pretty much every day, but my life is the same thing pretty much every day. Do I wish that I could change that? Of course. But I don't exactly have a means of transportation, and with my aforementioned problem with making friends, it's a little hard and confusing to do so.

So basically, I just want to say thank you. To all of you. For reading. For caring enough about my small little life to want to check up on me. For all the prayers. For just being willing to read.

And insert a bit of a shameless plug here...If you're reading and don't comment, please do! I love to make new friends, even if most people in real life don't see that.

Okay, now that I've gotten that off my chest, I think I can sleep now.

Prepare for me being whiny.

Sometimes I hate being a girl.
Boys get food, females, and football. Girls get pain, periods, and pregnancy.
And cramps. Don't forget the cramps!
Oh, and not only do I have a rough draft due on Thursday, I have to write the rough draft and then decide between it and my comparison/contrast essay and make a final out of whichever one I choose.
Thank goodness I like my comparison/contrast essay, so this rough draft doesn't have to be superb and I can just pick that one.
I woke up with a pounding headache.
I went to class with a pounding headache.
I've spent all day with a pounding headache.

Is it Friday yet???????????????

Long day.

But it was a good day.
Aside from the fact that it's 11 and I feel like I'm going to puke.

But anyway, three good things:
Western Civ was cancelled.
I got to hang out with my friend Chelsea.
The completion of this day means I am one day closer to Spring Break!

Frankly, I'm exhausted. I desperately need a week where I can sleep in and relax and not have to stress about all this school stuff.

Anyway, I'm gonna go take a Phenergan, wait for it to kick in, and then crash.