No Philly cheesesteak is worth 18 dollars.

This was another unpacking day.   Holly slept late because she was so exhausted so Mom and I went and got a pizza from a place across the street.  It was okay, nothing spectacular, but I was pretty surprised that the price was fairly comparable to NC.

We had to deal with girls coming in and out to look at the other bedroom (this place is rented by the bedroom, so we HAVE to get a roommate) which was rather interesting since the place was not totally put together, but luckily it was easy to understand since we just moved in yesterday.

That evening, we ventured over to the original legendary Katz’s Deli that is only about a block and a half away.  The food was good, but not worth the high prices we paid, so it was more of the type of thing where you go once just for the experience, you know?  It was especially cool for Mom and Holly because part of the classic movie When Harry Met Sally was filmed there and they love that movie.  I should probably watch it sometime.

Time Warner Cable can’t come hook up our cable and wifi until Saturday, but Holly and I together have a sizable DVD collection, so the three of us watched Chicago tonight.  I’ll never tire of that movie.

N! Y! C!

If I could sum today up in a word, it would be EXHAUSTING.  Today was utterly exhausting.  I got to Penn Station just after noon and took a cab to the apartment, but the cab guy got lost.  Thankfully he knew it was his fault, so he turned off his ticker and so the cab ride wasn’t as expensive as it could have been.

Thankfully for me, Mom and Holly had gotten there at about 7:00 and already had everything unloaded from the truck into the apartment and the truck returned.  I managed to sleep about 3 hours on the train, but those poor things hadn’t slept a wink.

We were so tired and so busy unpacking all day that we didn’t venture out for food.  The only place we went was this 24-hour deli that is really good and only a few buildings down from us.  We unpacked and unpacked some more, taking short breaks for food and sheer exhaustion and then crashed just before midnight.  Meaning we’d all had 36 hour days (save for my 3 hours which, with my medication, doesn’t mean as much as it would to other people).  

I was really excited and overwhelmed, but thankfully, the exhaustion outweighed that.  I slept hard and good.

I'M ACTUALLY HERE!!!!

In a New York State of mind...

This is the last place I know I'll have Wifi for a while, so I thought I should probably blog.

I fell asleep at 8:00 from heavy NyQuil doses, which is why I didn't blog then...I'll catch that post up eventually.

I'm sitting in the Rocky Mount train station. In a little over 3 hours, my train gets here, and in about 12.5 hours, I'll be in Manhattan's Penn Station.

I can't believe today is finally here, but it is.

Sitting in this train station by myself is kind of eerie, not gonna lie. I'll feel better once I'm on the train.

I should probably sleep on the train, but I'm not sure that I will or how much. Too excited!

Well just wanted to hop on and let any readers know why I didn't blog yesterday and let y'all know I am on my way!

Wifi will not be on in the apartment for a few days, so not sure when I will be able to blog again, but I'll update Twitter (@_callmemal and page link under bio in sidebar) sporadically.

Bless me.

Today I was sick.  Very sick.  Because I was sleeping in the recliner so Holly could sleep in my bed with her dog since she has to say goodbye to him for at least the next two years, and in the living room were all of Holly’s clothes…clothes that were covered in years of dog hair…sitting in moldy suitcases.

So you can imagine just how well THAT worked out for my sinuses.

We picked up the moving truck at 10:00 this morning, which we almost didn’t get because the office overbooked themselves but thankfully the other lady wanting a 16-foot truck moved her dates and we got it, and Holly and Mom spent most of the day packing the truck, in between the spurts of rain.  Since we couldn’t afford to get me injured, I didn’t help load the truck and spent the time that I was actually awake outside of my Nyquil coma organizing all of my clothes and personal stuff and packing it and moving Holly’s laundry forward.  

But like I said, I was sick, so I fell asleep at 8:00 and no one bothered me and it worked out very well.

The final 48 hours.

Today was a long day.

We had to go to Raleigh for my doctor appointment and then load up all of Holly's stuff in north Raleigh and bring all of it back to the house.  Luckily she had a guy with her that was very kind and didn't mind helping us load the truck at all so Mom and I didn't have to do a whole lot except hand boxes into Holly who was organizing it all in the truck bed.

I'm sneezing and wheezing tonight because her dog, who will be living with Mom for the next two years, was all over the truck.  And the dust from the stuff I helped move.  So ugh.

And tonight we packed.  And Holly organized her stuff.  We're picking up the moving truck at 10:00 am tomorrow.

Holy crap. I'M MOVING TO MANHATTAN.

I forgot.

I passed out cold from exhaustion this night and completely forgot to blog for the first time in...a while, so here's to catch up!

The day started out at 9 am when I called the hair salon as soon as they opened because I wanted to know as soon as possible if they could possibly fit me in at all.  Luckily, one lady had an appointment open at noon.  I wanted to go back to sleep until 10:30 because I hadn't slept much, but couldn't.  Mom and I left at 11:20.  I went to go fax a letter to NYU, we picked up medicine for Mom.  And then I got the hair cut.

After that, we went shopping.  We stopped by Big Lots and found a couple big mixing bowls that match our dishes and Mom got some new glasses.  Then we went to Furniture Fair and instead of a futon like we planned, got an actual couch on clearance.

And then we came home and got the neighbors' son who was over there to help unload the couch and the AC units Mom and her boyfriend picked up the night before.

And then Chelsea and Blake came over because she brought over some boxes she collected from her work and that turned into a multi-hour saga because...that's what happens any time Chelsea shows up.

And then we packed.  Surprise surprise.  Packing is exhausting.  Surprise surprise.Hence why I fell asleep.

Is, Was, Will Always Be

My emotions feel like a boomerang this week.  I think my blog pretty much reflects that feeling, too.  One day I'm happy and excited and everything is working out great, and the next day I'm in tears because I'm so stressed.  I do not like it.  At all.

Today was just one of those days.  The job that we really wanted Mom to be able to get was filled last week and the position just hasn't been taken off the website yet.  My student loans won't come in until the very end of August, two weeks after I thought I was going to be getting them.  I don't know how we're going to survive in New York and pay Mom's bills for the month of August because her unemployment benefits suck.  That all led up to me laying on Mom's bed crying for half an hour this afternoon.  I hate that.

But you know what?  All I have to do is look back through this blog to see all the times when God has come through at the last minute when we didn't know how things could possibly work out well.  Heck, I can just look at this summer and see how many things we managed to pay for when it seemed impossible, how the details of getting to New York have worked out time and time again even when it felt like we had an endless series of hurdles to jump over to get there.  God has made a way, and a good, good God is not going to quit taking care of us.  Not now, not ever.

I don't know how this month is going to work itself out financially, but that doesn't mean that God doesn't know.  God always has a plan.  He doesn't just make this up on a spur of the moment type deal.  He knows every second of every day for all eternity.  All He is asking me to do is trust that He's got this.  I'm not on my own.  I just have to keep doing the best that I can and have faith that God will work it out.  Just because He sometimes likes to be a God of the last second doesn't mean that He won't show up.

It's like Jon of The Anima Series says in his video "The Wall":

"With God, what seems like a hopeless situation is not only possible, it's favorable, because only God can turn a mess into a message. Only God can turn a trial into a triumph, a test into a testimony, and a victim into a victory. His power is made perfect in weakness, so let us rejoice in our trials and hold unswervingly to the hope we profess, because He who promised is faithful, was faithful, and will always be faithful, no matter how hopeless the situation."

God's faithfulness doesn't change.  Even when the circumstances of this world seem scary and make no sense at all, I can trust in the One who is greater than all of it.  I can rest my eyes on the safe haven that is my King and know that all will be well, one way or another.  It's not my job to understand why circumstances are the way they are.  My job is to hold unswervingly to the hope I profess and praise God for working even when I don't see it and the work that will be done in the days to come.

One Step Closer

We booked train tickets tonight.  I'm going to take a train to New York while Mom and Holly go in the Uhaul, and then Mom will take a train back a few days later so that we only have to pay one set of gas and tolls.  It just makes sense, and I don't mind it at all since I can get up and move on a train and it will be so much easier on my body.

My train leaves at 2:17 Saturday morning, and I'll be getting to New York City at 11:30.  It's really real.  I know I keep saying that but it just seems like some joke to me that I'm moving to New York, like this can't really be happening.  But it is.  I have the train tickets to prove it.

So this is my last week here.  My last week in Swansboro (for the foreseeable future).  I've been waiting for this.  And yet...I'm scared.  Scared I'm not cut out for this.  But I know that I've been in this mental place before.  I remember how bad college freaked me out...and that was Buies Creek.  And this is why I know that Holly being there is going to be really good, because I will have my own life but won't be totally alone and will have someone there if I'm in trouble.

I just want to get all this moving stuff over with.  It's exhausting and sort of makes me feel like we'll never get through everything that we have to get done, especially now with a solid deadline in place in which we have to leave.

It would help if I wasn't sick.  Of course I would get sick in the last week before moving, because it's like Murphy's law of the universe or something.  My sinuses are a disaster.  But what Mom keeps telling me is just buck up!  I've got to be tough for the life I'm taking on.  And I've got it in me.

At least I think I do.

I understand it now.

Oh, how things can change so quickly in 24 hours.

Last night, I was pretty much a ball of stress.  As evidenced by my blunt blog post.  All that was in my head was questions of how we were going to get everything done with the amount of money that we have in the time frame that we have.

Tonight, I feel peace.  God has proven Himself so faithful and I just have this refreshed confidence that everything is going to work out.

A friend from our local church showed up with a check for $900 to go towards our move which can at least partially go towards paying Mom's bills for the month since she has spent so much money on stuff we need she doesn't have money for her bills.

We have the to-do list and everything seems so much more manageable when you can see it all on one sheet.  Plus, Mommom is helping us by giving a trip to Sam's Club and the commissary so we can get some big things and non-perishables down here where it's cheaper than expensive NYC.

We got all of Mom's stuff out of her old classroom, which means we don't have to go anywhere near that school again and the awful new principal that is basically the reason she doesn't have a job right now.

We figured out how we're going to get Holly and all her stuff home.  And she'll be home Monday night instead of Wednesday like we thought.  Which gives two more days for us to have her help and spend time with her.

We got the moving truck booked. (It's really happening!)

And just now, we found out that there's a job opening at a school that is 20 minutes or less away in a county Mom hasn't been black-listed in yet (nothing of her doing, promise) that would be so perfect for Mom if she could get it.  And that would take a million stressors off the table because Mom would have a job and with a job comes health insurance and all those benefits.

Things are working out.  It's gonna be okay.  We've never been starving or homeless before now.  We'll figure it out.  It'll get done.  I'll get to New York.

Of course, we need to deal with that pesky Chelsea problem, but that's a blog post I don't want to get into...

I really do understand the phrase "peace like a river".  As silly as it sounds, I keep thinking about rivers and the peace that I imagine when I think of their gentle flowing.  I know I'm a cheese ball, but it actually makes sense now.

Stress to the max.

So many details.

Not enough money.

So tired.

Not enough energy.

Just want to get to New York already.

Life will be easier for all of us once I'm just there.

Pray for my family, that none of us lose our minds and we all can survive financially.  Thanks.