History

What do you call it when you see someone who you haven't seen in two and a half years, who you know you're completely over, but you still get a weird feeling in your stomach?

I saw Parker at the dentist's office today.

The second we glanced at each other, my heart started pounding a little bit harder.  That's not supposed to happen.  I got over him a long time ago.  When I've thought about him, I didn't feel anything.  So why did I all of a sudden feel something today?

Well, I know why.  He was the first boy I ever loved, despite the fact that we never dated.  He was the first boy I ever trusted completely.  He was the first boy who broke my heart.  And that will always mean something to me. 

But still, I got over him and everything that happened years ago.  WHY do I still let it get to me? Does this mean I never really got over it? Today is making me second guess everything. What threw me off even more is that he was actually nice to me.

And now I'm dealing with Matt, and all along I've been waiting for him to become like Parker because that's what I'm so afraid of, getting my heart broken again, and I think that's been screwing up my relationship with him.

I guess I just have to realize that history isn't something that can be forgotten, and Parker and I certainly have a lot of history together. I don't know if we could ever really be friends, but I hope maybe one day we could. If we could manage to talk the way we did today, even if it was just for a minute, maybe there's hope.

Now is one of those times it'd really be nice to predict the future. ;)

GREAT day!

Slept till 2.
Blake came home at 3:30.
Held him.
Fed him.
Kissed him.
Held him some more, when my mom wasn't stealing him from me. ;)
I love this.

Blake Pictures

So Chelsea's home, but Blake has to stay in the hospital an extra night for mild jaundice.  Since I have my camera back, I thought I'd upload some pictures so you all can see just how beautiful my nephew is. :)  Just a few, though.  Don't want to overwhelm you with all the cuteness. ;)

:)

Day 2

So I finally fell asleep about midnight last night, and aside from waking up to lock the door behind my grandmother (who was leaving to go to my cousin's soccer tournament in Raleigh) and a phone call from Chelsea, I didn't wake up till 1 pm. And it felt fantastic.

I stayed in my pajamas and watched TV (the Gymnastics Tyson American Cup and Gilmore Girls, to be specific) for hours until my mom called and told me she finished cleaning and was coming to pick me up.

We went to the hospital and I got to snuggle with my beautiful little nephew for two hours. He has a head full of soft brown hair with blond highlights, and I just can't get enough of kissing him. :) Chelsea will be coming home tomorrow, so that's exciting.

After that, we went to K-Mart to buy bottles because Chelsea can't breastfeed because of the medicines she's on, and then went to Food Lion. And then I came home and sat down because on top of my feet hurting, I'm having pleuritic pain again. The docs told me that once you get pleurisy, it can easily come back in the months after, but I thought I'd be wheezing or something. Oh well. I am now Auntie Mal, and that makes everything better. :)

I'm an AUNT!

To the absolutely most beautiful little boy in the world.
Blake Richard
March 5, 2010
8:04 am
5 lb 12 oz
19 inches

My camera will be with Chelsea in the hospital till Sunday, so pictures will have to wait. But trust me, he's beautiful and I am SO in love.

Now, I've been up for more than 28 hours with no sleep and I've never even come close to doing this, so I must crash.

Thanks for all the well wishes. Chelsea did great. Details and pictures will come later.

Chelsea's water broke!!!!!!

2:45 pm: Holly will be here in like 15 minutes to pick me up. It will take about 2 hours to get to the hospital. I'll tweet from my phone since I won't be able to be on the computer for a while. So updates will be at www.twitter.com/malloryajones

So excited!!!

-----

In the moment, I've decided that I am going home for the birth!! :)

Will update later!

16

That's how many hours I ended up sleeping today.
I had a headache so bad that I basically couldn't get out of bed.
I woke up at 10:30 and tried to get ready, and realized I couldn't.
Western Civ was cancelled, so I technically only skipped French and Government.
Oh well. I really couldn't help it.

Chelsea's going to be 39 weeks on Monday. She told me yesterday that at her appointment that day, her doctor wants to set up an induction date. Maybe this means that it'll be next week and I'll get to be there for it. :) Still trying to decide, if it's not next week, if I want to miss class and go home for it. I go back and forth. We'll see.

Okay, staring at this computer screen hurts. Good night. Here's to hoping I feel better tomorrow.

I just realized something.

I suck at blogging.

I don't have funny stories to tell you. I don't have beautiful pictures. I don't captivate people with my words (not that I'm aware of, anyway).

So it amazes me that anyone reads my pretty repetitive rambling of living here in this small town.

I hope you know that, even with as much whining as I do on this blog, I'm not this negative in person. I use this blog to vent because writing out my stress helps me release it.

Here's something you might have figured out already: I don't make friends easy. My family thinks I'm obsessed with the computer, and maybe I am. But it's because you all on here are the people who don't judge me, and even if there is someone on here who judges me, I don't care because I don't know you. I don't mean that in a harsh way, but it's pretty freeing.

You wanna know why I don't have pictures on here? Frankly, it's because I'm too forgetful to remember to take my camera anywhere, and if I do remember, I'm too lazy to take pictures and upload them on here.

I realize that I say the same thing pretty much every day, but my life is the same thing pretty much every day. Do I wish that I could change that? Of course. But I don't exactly have a means of transportation, and with my aforementioned problem with making friends, it's a little hard and confusing to do so.

So basically, I just want to say thank you. To all of you. For reading. For caring enough about my small little life to want to check up on me. For all the prayers. For just being willing to read.

And insert a bit of a shameless plug here...If you're reading and don't comment, please do! I love to make new friends, even if most people in real life don't see that.

Okay, now that I've gotten that off my chest, I think I can sleep now.

Prepare for me being whiny.

Sometimes I hate being a girl.
Boys get food, females, and football. Girls get pain, periods, and pregnancy.
And cramps. Don't forget the cramps!
Oh, and not only do I have a rough draft due on Thursday, I have to write the rough draft and then decide between it and my comparison/contrast essay and make a final out of whichever one I choose.
Thank goodness I like my comparison/contrast essay, so this rough draft doesn't have to be superb and I can just pick that one.
I woke up with a pounding headache.
I went to class with a pounding headache.
I've spent all day with a pounding headache.

Is it Friday yet???????????????

Long day.

But it was a good day.
Aside from the fact that it's 11 and I feel like I'm going to puke.

But anyway, three good things:
Western Civ was cancelled.
I got to hang out with my friend Chelsea.
The completion of this day means I am one day closer to Spring Break!

Frankly, I'm exhausted. I desperately need a week where I can sleep in and relax and not have to stress about all this school stuff.

Anyway, I'm gonna go take a Phenergan, wait for it to kick in, and then crash.