It's a vicious cycle. Vicious, I tell ya!

I'm stuck in a major vicious cycle right now. Because of the bulging discs in my back, I have to spend 95% of my time lying down. Because I'm lying down so much, my chest is filling up with crap, aggravating my asthma. Today, my asthma got so bad that my ENT had to put me on steroids, which lowers my immune system (the small one that I have) and could make me even sicker. Plus, I might have pneumonia, and if I do, they have to delay my sinus surgery by at least a month. I find out tomorrow whether or not I have it because I got another chest x-ray today. If they have to delay my sinus surgery for a month, my pre-op stuff that I got done today won't be valid, so I'll have to go through it again and I hate needles. And even if I don't have pneumonia, if I'm wheezing at all the day of surgery, they'll cancel it anyway. AGH!

The only good thing is that the steroids will help my back pain, so I can taper myself off the Hydrocodone.

To add to all this stress and pain, it's "that time of the month" which means I'm eating like a pig, which makes my mom fuss about my weight. Because the weight is making it even harder on my back. But I can't exercise because it makes my asthma flare up. (And she gets that.)

I just can't win, apparently. *sigh*

URGENT prayer request

Please please please pray for sweet baby Stellan. He's not even five months old and has been through so much. I've been following his mom's blog, http://www.mycharmingkids.net/, since he was born, and my heart breaks for the pain they've been through, even if their son was born healthy. Please be on your knees and pray for this family. You can click on the link and go read the updates....

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On a side note, I could use some prayers, too. I've been in excruciating back pain for ten days now, unable to go to school, barely moving. Painkillers aren't really helping, and so I'm worried. I start physical therapy tomorrow, though, so I'm hopeful about that.

I also need for God to convince my doctor that being written out of school as homebound is really the best thing for me right now. It seems she's the only person who doesn't see that.

That's all. I'm going to pray for Stellan and his family. God, please help him, and keep your warm hands of comfort around his parents tonight.

Going to the doctor 8 hours away.

So, I've been in excruciating back pain since Friday night. I'm on 3 painkillers/muscle relaxers and they're barely helping. And if I don't take them right at the specific intervals, they wear off and the pain is so bad I want to cry.

So yeah, my scoliosis/spine doctor at Shriner's Hospital in SC wants to see me. An 8 hour car ride is probably NOT going to help my predicament, wouldn't you agree? *sigh*

If it weren't for bad luck...

I'd have no luck at all...

Or so it seems.

I fell again on Friday. With two sixteen-inch steel rods in my back, even the most minor slam or tumble or fall is incredibly painful. Needless to say, I got no work done this weekend.

Our refrigerator died. We have no clue why. Now, we have basically no food in our house because most of what we had was in our fridge and freezer, and we had to give it to my uncle and my grandma.

We think my mom has another kidney stone. Pitiful, in-pain me trying to take care of pitiful, in-pain her does not work well.

Got my new haircut. And my new glasses. Love them both. Pics will be up...sometime.

That basically covers it.

Change is a good thing....right?

So...something you should know about me is that I'm a very indecisive person. Like really really indecisive. It's hard for me to buy or pick out anything because I'm so afraid I'll change my mind. I've had the same haircut for years because I wasn't sure if I wanted to change it. Well, tonight I went up to my mom and said "Do you think I should cut my hair?" just totally out of the blue. I had considered it a few months ago, but at the time thought I didn't want to do it because I wanted to be able to do my hair up for prom. I decided a couple weeks ago that I'm not going to prom, so I figure, why not?
So I made myself go ahead and get online and look up pictures of possible haircuts. After some serious deliberation, I found the perfect one. :)


This hair with my new purple frames that are coming in this week is gonna look amazing, my mom and I decided. :) I'm really really really happy.

Finally some good news.

So, I got some much needed good news about an hour ago.

Campbell University is a private and prestigious university here in North Carolina. Well, guess what. They are giving me the Presidential Scholarship, the highest scholarship they give out. That's $15,000 a year! Not quite sure how much that covers yet, but considering it's the highest one I could get, my guess is it's A LOT. :) I'm so happy right now, it's not even funny.


As for the medical stuff, I went to get a chest x-ray at the hospital yesterday, and best they can tell is that I have a lung infection, but there's nothing else they can do for me. Oh well. My only prayer is that this will all get better, or maybe even go away, when I have my surgery next month.

Okay, just had to share. :) There's not much else going on.

Update

So basically, I spent 20 bucks to have my doctor tell me that I have a virus and there's nothing she can do. Go figure. She said that I should keep using my nebulizer to keep my breathing as under control as possible, drink as much as possible, and stay in bed. As if I haven't been doing all that for the past week. But she did say that she wants me to get a chest X-Ray to make sure I don't have viral pneumonia. *sigh*

I have no idea how I'm going to make it through tomorrow, Wednesday, and Thursday when I keep needing to take breathing treatments every 60-90 minutes. But I haven't been in a week, and if I don't go back this week, I'll never get caught up.

Basically, I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place.

Thanks for your prayers.

Prayers Please

I really need prayers right now. I don't know what's wrong with me. I keep throwing up, and my mom and I can't decide if it's viral or if it's just from me coughing so hard. I'm practically attached to my nebulizer (for asthma, for those of you who don't know). I'm going back to my doctor tomorrow, but I don't even know if they'll be able to do anything. They haven't been able to help me for the past seven months. I'm just so drained. So please, anyone who reads this...pray to God that something changes because this is just so much for my weak body to take. I haven't had one good day since July, and it's just...hard. Yeah, it's hard.

Thanks. I'll post again tomorrow after I get back from the doctor.